job interview

-: i do not need an alarm clock nowadays. used to woke up at 6 and lately i had this same dream that constantly wakes me. not good. not good at all.

2 years ago when i was in college, i have made up my mind to study abroad, obtain a good result and eventually settle with a job around scotland. yesterday, i looked up my inbox and i received an email regarding a job interview this thursday. i should be very happy to get this offer after going through so many attempts, so many rejections from big companies but strangely enough, i do not feel amazed even to bit.

most people would be happy to settle in UK, earn in pound sterling, gain oversea experiences, and come back with seven times richer than usual. seven times faster to own a property, supercars. and seven times bigger their wallet. who wouldnt want it? i am a stingy money minded. ask my friend if you think i am joking. :p

for the last 6 months, slowly, i was taught that money is not veryvery important although it is fundamental to build a healthy family- free from debt and financial issue. there are much more important things in life such as happiness and family. i would like to thank you for changing my perspective and view of life.

to think of it, money is not/never be the utmost highlight why i wanted to work around Aberdeen so badly, i tried so hard to nail for every single opportunity not because of any of the factor listed above.... now, i am not certain if working here is the best choice anymore, but i certainly wont be so upset as previous attempts if i ever fail this interview, it seems as though i am no longer motivated to work here. i begin to miss home, miss everyone, i hope to find and start a new life back in kl. perhaps somewhere around england or south of scotland.... :)

happy birthday!! su mei

-: pui li and grace, thanks for your company. really nice. and i feel blessed to have known both of you...

last night, we celebrated su mei's birthday at Ash Vale. been there quite regular but not on birthday occasion.

we met at approximate 7.50pm. grace and pui li brought the present all the way from home, they sailed all the way to ashvale...

we ordered plenty of things. too bad there was no certificate of achivement that night. you will have to eat 2 plates of ashvale whale to obtain the cert. reminds me the first time when i stumbled upon this place, han ping and on yong desperately try to finish 2 plates and in the end we got 2 certs. they had phobia eating fish afterwards...and lasted for 1 month.

birthday girl and her cake. su mei wasnt expecting any cake :) .i was a bit surprised to see that cake. bought it few days back and it was exactly the same, somehow i didn't use it. such coincidence, i think that god is testing me to the limit.

we made the present for su mei. to be honest i just cut few piece of white cardboard :) pui li and grace did the whole decoration while i was sleeping. thanks for being there and keep me busy the whole day. i appreciate it. and i really really need it.

david, tan en and adrian. it has been quite a while since i last met you guys. hope you are doing alright. looking better and better :)

Last but not least, also present were su mei's flatmates nikki, rob, darh (hope i get the spelling right). all of us in the picture(click here to enlarge). i always enjoyed eating at ashvale, all it takes is a good company from special group of friend. i meant 'weird' people. hihi.

han ping and jane. thanks for taking care of me these few days by cooking delicious mouth watering exotic dishes... exaggerating enough :) and cleaned all the dishes. all i did was sleep and make you guys worry. i hope you dont mind at all. my hand is slowly recovering. i could move more nowadays. Also not to be forgotten, sivaraj, you tried so hard to make silly jokes, i might not laugh that time, but i know your intention. ppl who text me, advise, and drop comments. u know who you are. many thanks

'colours'

-: white is what i am looking for, not red, not pink....

during my stay in aberdeen, fortunate or vise versa, i met this girl, *Mel* on the 30th august 06. her impression to me was a happy go lucky and loves to party girl. knowing her better, deep inside i found that there is this maturity lies in her, the way she looks at things and words of advise that is. amazed, i hv never thought of breaking up as before, i am glad to proceed even closer than 'friends' boundary, a much more intimate relationship.

moments of ups and downs, the first break up occured due to misunderstanding. yes, it was solely my fault. how i wish the first break doesnt occur, our relationship should be sailing smoothly. i never gave up. i decided to start from the beginning. stubborn i am. during that period, little did i know, i had fall for you very very slowly..

i knew it would never be an easy journey. i have done everything and hope to be appreciated not now, but one day. if red is a color of love, i would describe *Mel* as white. I felt all its presence, all the colors that blend together which form this pure white. all ups and downs. bitter sweet... maybe i didnt tell you, i am so happy when we get back together, the happiest in my entire life. I never expected this moment to be too short, too shame to be mentioned. u know what i have done for you. more than words could describe. i have failed to express how you trully meant to me. i have no intention to say more. cant i even leave just one slice of mark in ur heart? am i that lousy?

'is so hard to forget a person, why not impress her, touch her heart, let her know i still care, i am always there'. thats what i wanted to show you if i were given one more chance to prove. yet, u turn me completely down with another news. i have given you a pair of wings, but you never return..

'sorry'

-: Sorry is a taboo. that's the last thing people ever wanted to listen or say...........

little did i know, i had gone through my first phrase. love. sound sweet yet poisonous. the memory that haunt me for as long as i lived. i dont know how long i could stand before dropping my tears again. yes, if the word 'sissy' came across your mind, i dont mind. because i m proud, proud of looking what i hv been searching for since the day i encountered the word 'love'. i know what i m looking for, and i knew it a long time ago.

during my school, college, or uni's life, i hv been rejecting all the chances to begin a relationship. call it puppy love or teenage love. all i got was letter of hatred, curse, and bad public comment. i dont mind at all. i do not want to start it because there is a doubt strike through my mind. my apology, that is the best possible way to stop because you are the one to be hurt in future if breakup is what is going to happen.

it will never be good to begin with something that will end..